Tough Love Day 1

When I was pregnant I read everything I could get my hands on. One of those topics included co-sleeping and bed sharing. Everyone has their own opinion on these topics so I needed to figure out what my opinion was going to be. The first thing the vast majority of people will say is that bed sharing is unsafe and you shouldn't do it. They'll also tell you that once your kid is in the bed with you they'll never get out. Contrary to popular belief bed sharing is a lot safer than most people would like to think. It sort of runs along the same lines as thinking homebirths aren't safe either. Just for the record, people all over the world have given birth at home safely longer than we have been giving birth in hospitals. People in almost all cultures but ours bed share with their children. Research has proven there are very positive long term effects to doing this. Anyway, I am getting off on a tangent. Back to my point. Milan and I discussed where we stand on this topic and came to the agreement that we would co-sleep. Basically all that means is the baby sleeps in your room until at least 3 months old. I have files and files of supportive information about the benefits of this but I won't get into that today! :)

Two weeks before Eli arrived we got our bedroom all ready for him. The pack n play was set up next to my side of the bed as were all the other necessities for taking care of him at night. If you haven't been to our house then you wouldn't know that our master bedroom is on the main floor and Eli's room is upstairs. It is really annoying and we hate it. I can't tell you how often I was going up and down at first. Our bedroom now acts as the nursery because it is so much easier.

The first night in the hospital was interesting. Here is the brand new itty bitty baby just out of the warm womb and he is now stuck in that stupid plastic bassinet thing at the hospital. One look at it and I was like get him out of there! Milan and I took turns holding him all through the night. I just couldn't bare the thought of him being by himself. The nurses just smiled.

While we were in the hospital Eli spit up a lot. The nurses said it was common for newborns to spit up amniotic fluid so I wasn't worried. The next thing I know I am now home with no nurses around for support and I have a newborn who is spitting up a lot. Milan was really set against letting Eli sleep in our bed. It took all of about 5 minutes of Eli crying and coughing on spit up for Milan to change his mind. Looking back I think it is hilarious that he made the decision to put Eli in bed with us. I do know though if he hadn't made that decision first it would have happened anyway because Eli was choking all the time on spit up.


So, for the past 3 months of his life Eli has taken naps in his swing, carseat, or on one of us. We have used what is called a wedge to help elevate him when he sleeps so he doesn't choke. We have tried laying him on his side and/or stomach when he sleeps. Some days some things worked and other days they didn't. Even after 3 months Eli still spits up at night and ends up choking. It is nerve racking. But what is also nerve racking is not having a consistent nap routine.


I told myself when Eli turned 3 months old I would turn on the tough love switch and teach him how to sleep on his own in the pack n play. Today was day one of tough love. I have noticed over the past few weeks that it takes longer and stronger cries for me to get frazzled. My skin must be getting thicker! I think as you learn your baby's cries you start to let go of the anxiety and remind yourself that crying is one of the things babies do! So with the advice from my good friend Christy who is a mom to a one year old boy I turned on the tough love switch today.

I laid Eli down in his pack n play with those heavy sleepy looking eyes. I just knew this was going to work. I could feel it! I turned on his lamby (actually it's called a Sleep Sheep but we call him lamby), gave him his paci and lovey, kissed him, and walked out of the room with the monitor. He fussed and went silent. I was quietly jumping up and down in the kitchen! This was going to be easier than I thought. Next thing I know Eli is screaming. What in the world happened? I go to the door with the monitor in hand and find Jack with his head peering into the bed. The dog pushed open the door and decided he should be in there with Eli. Now I have to start all over! I get Eli settled, I shoo out Jack, and leave the room. Within seconds Eli is crying again! Ugh. Christy told me to set the timer for however long I think I can take the crying. I set it or 2 minutes. After that I went back in and rubbed Eli's back, gave him a kiss, and left again. Here he goes again crying. Ugh. I set the timer for two more minutes. I go back in and repeat the process. I leave and he cries. Oh my gosh this isn't working!!!! I set the timer for 3 more minutes this time. He slowly stopped crying, rubbed his eyes, snuggled his lovey, and passed out. Woo hoo!! Mission accomplished. He slept for 25 minutes.

I am so proud of myself. I don't think either of us are ready to be seperated at bedtime but at least we are off to a good start. What a good little boy Eli is!

This picture is for my Kuma Nicole. When her kids were babies I was obsessed with watching them sleep on the monitor. As of today I am officially obsessed with watching Eli on the monitor. I even keep it plugged in so I can see continuous video so the screen doesn't go out after a couple of minutes. Please tell me this obsession will pass!