The Miracle Cure

Eli is only 6 weeks old and I can already say "Like father like son!"

From day 1, actually only hours after his birth, Eli has been the king of spitting up. We were told it is common for newborns to sit up amniotic fluid for the first couple of days and not to worry. Well after two weeks of spitting up constantly we saw the doctor. Again we were told spitting up is common. It's at this point when I start to wonder if I am already turning into a paranoid mother. I didn't want to ask about reflux because I didn't want to sound paranoid but I was thinking it! So our day goes something like this... Eli eats, Eli burps loudly, Eli eats more, Eli burps loudly, and then Eli falls asleep into a milk coma. Within minutes he is spitting up milk everywhere and it is flying out of his nose! Come on, you can't tell me this is normal. There have been days when I go through 10 burp cloths and 5 outfit changes. Again, I am worrying in my head but just telling myself it's Eli being a baby. Over the past two weeks my sweet baby has turned into the crankiest fussiest baby ever. He cries constantly and you can tell it's cries of pain. He pulls in his little legs and flings his arms out. He shivers and tears roll down his cheeks. Nothing soothes him except nursing. Finally after 3 days of no sleep we trek back to the doctor. I wear my strong Mama armour thinking I will stand up for my child. I will no longer accept the notion that this is what babies do.

On our way to the doctor I whispered to Eli that I need for him to act up while we are there. I didn't want to be the lady who calls the mechanic because her car isn't working only to get there and the car works just fine. The fine little man that he is acted right on cue. He screamed and he spit up everywhere. The doctor said nothing about this being normal. He basically took out his prescription pad and said your baby has reflux. Really? Duh. I could have told you that! I felt like I won the lottery! Off we soared to Target to fill the prescription.

Eli took his first dose of the meds and was acting like a totally different baby after his first meal. I swear this stuff is a miracle drug. Let's just hope that Eli grows out of this quickly and will go off the meds right away. If not, maybe we can get two for one prescriptions from the pharmacy since he and his father are taking the same medication!

Eli's Journey Part II

Ok, let's see where was I? Oh that's right, we just arrived at the hospital! Gosh it feels like this story took place a year ago instead of 5 weeks ago.

We were admitted to the hospital around 6 am. I was told to fill out papers ahead of time so I wouldn't have to deal with that when I arrived in case I was in active labor. Well I was definitely in active labor and guess what? They didn't have any of my papers on file! WHAT! So there I stood at yet another counter swaying back and forth trying to answer questions and breathe. It seemed to have taken hours to complete this task. Finally we are admitted and taken back to triage. Now you need to know that when we were in birth class we were asked to share our fears about the birth. When it came time for Milan to talk he said his fear was getting a cranky nurse. The whole time we are walking down the long hallway all I could think was please god do not give us a cranky nurse. I was also thinking about all the things I hate about hospitals and started to get nervous and panicky. Luckily my doula Alicia had arrived and went into triage with me while Milan got the rest of our things from the car.
We go into this tiny little room called triage and in walks a nurse about my age. I think to myself oh good she will be nice. Wrong. She was the crankiest nurse possible. These were her words exactly "take off your clothes and put this gown on. I'll be back in a few minutes to check you to see how far along you are." Gee thanks, and good morning to you too! Little does Miss Cranky know I have no intentions on wearing that gown! So she comes back in the room and looks at me like I am crazy and says "you need to put on the gown." I had practiced my answer to this situation for months ahead of time knowing I was going to be in the position. So I politely say "I think I'd like to wear my own clothes for now but I'll take the gown with me." She gave me a dirty look and we continued on. As a side note, my goal was to stay at home as long as possible so I could be at least 6-7 centimeters when we arrived at the hospital. I just knew I was going to be when she checked. I anxiously await her response and she tells me I am only 5. In my head I am screaming 5! Only 5! All that work at home and I am only at 5! I decided it was her fault because she was such a crank and made me so nervous. They say woman can be moving along nicely in labor and suddenly stop because they are nervous. That's what happened I'm sure of it. My contractions went back to being 6-7 minutes apart.

A few minutes later we are moved to our room and suddenly a different nurse appears. Woo hoo! This woman was so nice and warm. Ya know, if you are a nurse you should be nice. It's that simple. It is my son's birthday so I think it should be a happy day and we should all be smiling. The time is now 6:50. Guess what happens at 7? Shift change. So a little after 7 another nurse appears. You've got to be kidding me! Her name was Erika and she is from Hungary. She is petite, quiet, warm, and has a nice accent. Interesting I think to myself and begin to wonder how else this day is going to go.

It is now time to get into relax mode. The key is to make the hospital as home like as possible. Hence the reason I stay in MY clothes and opt out of that stupid ugly huge cold gown. My doula came with a bag of tricks and the next thing I know the lights are dim there's music playing softly and the scent of peppermint oil fills the air. It was as if someone turned on the contraction switch and I was back into labor again. So from about 7:30 am until noon the morning went something like this. Alicia and I would walk the hospital. We'd go past the nursery and up and down the stairs. I'd be laughing and smiling one minute and leaning against the railing the next minute. Alicia would stand behind me and rub my back while I went through the pain and then we'd move on. People all over the hospital were giving me strange looks but I didn't care. Just for the record, I wasn't always breathing quietly so that may have been why I was getting looked at funny. :) After walking we'd check back in with the nurse so she could strap on the monitors and check on the baby. This was not in the least bit comfortable. Sitting in a chair for 15 minutes is sheer torture. To pass the time Milan would try making me laugh and Alicia would massage my hands. Eventually when I was in too much pain Erika would only monitor me for 10 minutes and sometimes she'd move around the room with me while holding the wires instead of making me sit. She turned out to be heaven sent as the day wore on. As noon approached I was getting more and more antsy and uncomfortable. I sat and bounced on the exercise ball, I leaned over the bed, I walked, I paced, I laughed and then complained. At one point I looked at Milan and Alicia during the peak of a contraction and started crying really hard. In the midst of the crying I asked Alicia if this was what it is like to be in transition. She laughed and said it could be so she called for the doctor. You'll notice at this point I haven't mentioned the doctor at all. That is because my birth plan stated I didn't want to see the doctor until I called for him. I didn't want to feel like I had someone watching the clock and checking my progression every hour.

Let's talk about the doctor. I went to three different doctor's offices until I found my doctor. I was 4 months pregnant before settling on this particular doctor. I wanted a midwife but couldn't find one I liked and was covered under our insurance. Most woman who deliver without meds use a midwife because they tend to be more supportive of it. I worked hard looking for someone who would be completely supportive of me and I found him. We talked a lot about my birth plan at each visit and I knew we were on the same page. He told me that he would deliver Eli even if he wasn't on call when I went into labor. How nice is that! So that morning when we went in he wasn't on call of course. The other doctor from the practice was there so I asked him to call my doctor. He politely did so and finally after what seemed like forever he came back and told me he spoke with my doctor and he couldn't be there because he was 2 hours away tending to his sick mother. I was so disappointed but what was I going to do? It's not like I had much choice. I had met the on call doctor one time during a prenatal visit. I liked him well enough but I wanted my doctor.

So at noon Alicia goes for the doctor. He comes in to check me and I thought I was going to die from the pain. My contractions were so close together he barely had time to check me before another one came. I seriously began to doubt whether I could handle what was yet to come. I knew for sure he was going to say that I was 8 or 9 centimeters. My water hadn't broke yet at this point but I was assured I could be fully dilated and still have my water in tact. He looks at me and quietly says, "You are at a 6." You can only imagine what I was thinking! A 6! After being here for 6 hours I am only at a 6! Just shoot me. He then says, "I know you don't want me to break your water but if I don't you could go on like this until tomorrow." That is all he had to say. I broke one of my rules and let him break my water. I really wanted it to break on it's own but I couldn't continue on with the pain knowing it could be another day before Eli came out. One thing they don't tell you in class is that once your water is broken for you you will continue to leak and leak and leak and leak and leak. Now how am I suppose to labor out of the bed while I am gushing water? I wasn't prepared for this but the nurse gave me a pad and we were off. I went into crazy survival mode. I was all over the room. As soon as my water broke my contractions were intense to say the least. All morning long Milan sort of sat back and let Alicia and I do our girl thing while he sent text messages and kept the mood light. Once this craziness kicked in Milan totally jumped in and started helping me out. I really needed both of them to help me. Up to this point I knew what time it was and could keep track of the day's progression. I now have no clue what time it is or how long I was in any one place. I'd like to be able continue giving details about what it was like but your mind has a funny way of blocking out memories of pain. Looking back now I describe this point in labor being like a night when you get really drunk and do stupid things. Then you wake up in the morning and your mind says I know I did crazy stuff last night but it's all such a blur!

I do remember that my doula had to talk me into getting into the jacuzzi tub. I felt frozen in pain and refused to move. Not moving wasn't helping me so she forced me into the tub since it is suppose to be really calming. Ha! Not for me. I get in the tub and the entire time I'm in there I'm screaming and banging on the side of the tub. I swear I could feel the baby moving down. I kept saying I need to push. I said that enough times that the nurse made me get out because she thought I was going to deliver right there in the tub. Now at this point I do remember that I was having piggy back contractions which means you get no break in between they just keep coming. I honestly thought I was going to die. So they get me in the bed and try to check me to see if I finally made it to 10. You would think I would be happy that the end was near but instead of that I was clenching me legs together saying NO you can't touch me! Milan refers to me at this point and until I deliver as the exorcist. My eyes were rolling around in my head and I was breathing like a maniac. Finally she checks me and guess what! I am at a...... 8! Yes 8. I wanted to just die. 2 more to go. You can't be serious. So now I am soaking wet from being in the tub and freezing to death. My hair is a mess and I am now wearing that stupid gown. Which I'll admit I didn't care about anymore. I gladly put it on seeing it was much less work than my own clothes. I am no longer mobile. I am glued to the bed even though Alicia kept encouraging me to get out and move around. Looking back I should have listened to her but I just couldn't move.

In birth class they taught us that it is more productive to use a Barry White voice instead of an opera voice. My brain kept telling me to scream deeply and all that would come out was high pitched little girl screams. It was comical and I do recall laughing at myself. There was a time when I was putting my face in Alicia chest and blowing raspberries. How embarrassing is that? :) Finally after god knows how long the doctor appears and I am at a 10! HOORAY! So they get me ready to push. I start pushing and after some time he says that I need to stop because part of my cervix isn't completely dilated and if I keep pushing it will swell and I'd need a c-section. Oh dear lord! He looks at me with sympathy and says I'll be back to check on you in a little while. WHAT? So there I was having to go back to working through the contractions. This was by far the worse part of the whole thing. Imagine me crawling out of my own skin. I was clinging to the bed rail and screaming. Milan was so sweet and suportive. I started asking no more like shouting for drugs. I kept saying give me Demoral pleeeeeeeeease. I don't even know what Demoral is but I just kept asking for them to take the edge off. Milan kept reminding me why I didn't want meds and that Eli would be born with it in his system. I yelled at him and said I don't care if he has it! Lots of babies are born with meds and they are just fine! Of course no meds were given and within minutes I was pushing again.

I have been told that pushing is a relief. I don't quite see it that way. It was the most bizzare and indescribable pain imaginable. I swear Eli felt like a bowling ball. I was terrible at pushing. I was so tired that by the time they'd get to counting up to 5 or so I'd blow the air out. In between pushes I'd sit back and rest and out of no where I'd sit up and yell "holy shit this hurts!". I remember feeling bad for swearing in front of the doctor so I'd apologize and he'd just smile at me. This went on for only 36 minutes. They asked me if I wanted a mirror to see Eli coming out and I just yelled at him and said just get him OUT! They laughed at that too. When he was coming down the doctor tried to get me to focus by telling me Eli had a ton of hair. In my mind I thought he was lying because I knew for sure Eli was going to be a bald baby. Everyone in the room was telling me to push. I can still hear each person's distinctive voice. Alicia quiet and calm, the doctor focused, the nurse and her accent, and most of all Milan. It was like Milan had a megaphone cheering me on. It was Milan who was the most encouraging to me. I just kept thinking I was doing this for him. I wanted so badly to give up and kept saying I couldn't do this anymore. Milan even made a football reference about the Steelers saying that I was at the goal line about to score a touchdown.

I pushed Eli out in 36 minutes. It felt more like 36 days but none the less he was out and I was exhausted. I was shaking from head to toe. I was covered in goose bumps and had no strength in my arms or legs. I couldn't even hold Eli when they brought him to me. Looking back I felt like I was going into shock. I remember everything happening around me but it was as if I wasn't present. I do remember yelling over to Milan by the baby table and asking him if Eli had all of his parts. I worried about that my entire pregnancy. Of course Eli has all of his parts and is absolutely wonderful! I really imagined myself crying my eyes out when he was born. But surprisingly I had no energy left for that. I just sat back and tried to catch my breath. I felt guilty at the time for not crying but I made up for that in days to come.

Well there you have it. Part 2 of Eli's journey. Stay tuned for Part 3. I promise it won't take as long for me to get around to writing it.

Month One Pictures

Here is the cutest baby in the world. Well... I might be slightly biased. But you have to admit he is pretty stinkin' cute. :)

I like to sleep on the couch just like my Tata.

I don't like my bath yet!

Steelers Win! We're off to play the Ravens.

Tata and his boy- the newest Steelers fan.

This is what we call a milk coma!

I love being in my carseat.

I like to interrupt Mama when she eats so she will hold me.

I'm starting to like the bath.

Look at the size of these feet!

Eli is One Month Old!

Happy one month birthday my sweet baby boy!

Eli has had lots of visitors this month!

Eli & his Grammy, Bonnie

Eli & his Pappy, Dave

Eli & his Deda & Baba, Bato and Ljubi

Eli & his Grandpa, Steve

Eli & his Nana, Karen

Do you think Eli might be a little spoiled having all of these people as grandparents? We are so glad everyone was able to come down to Georgia and visit us. We are more homesick now than ever!

There are no words to describe what Milan and I feel for our sweet baby Eli. He is a bundle of joy. These past 4 weeks have been such a wonderful time of love and bonding between the 3 of us. We feel so blessed to have a healthy perfect baby boy. It was truly love at first sight!!

Eli is one lucky baby to be loved by so many people. Our doorbell rings daily with a UPS delivery. Milan and I want to thank everyone for their warm wishes and thoughtful gifts. We miss everyone terribly and can't wait for you to meet Eli.



As you all know I have been so excited about becoming a Mama. Those 9 months of being pregnant were the most wonderful 9 months of my entire life. Now that I am a Mama it is already everything I thought it would be and more. I had no idea how madly in love I could be with someone so new and so small. My whole world has changed and I love every second of it. I wondered day and night what Eli would be like. I prayed that he would be healthy, have all his parts, and be a content happy baby. In all honesty, Eli is such a happy content baby. He cries so little. He hates having his diaper changed and he screams when he wants food (don't all the Hayden boys do that?) but other than that the cries are far and few between. Now like all babies he has his days and nights confused which is wearing me out but I know it will get easier. We are starting to get a little routine going and that has helped a lot. Boy can this baby eat! I used to call him the little snacker because he would nurse for 5 minutes and then pass out cold. I worried I would have a malnourished child. Umm yah, that lasted about a week and a half and he is now chowing down at every feeding. Milan was really worried his son was going to eat like me but rest assured Eli is definitely a Hayden boy with a big appetite! We are going to the doctor tomorrow for his one month visit and can't wait to see how much he weighs. My guess is he will be around 10 lbs.


I know many of you are waiting for part 2 of my birth story. I have started working on writing it but it is so hard finding time to get on the computer! And you know me, I can't write the Reader's Digest version of anything. I have to give full details. So please check back for part 2 within the next week. I couldn't possibly let that story go untold. :)

Eli's Journey Part 1

Hello All,
It has been a long time since I have been able to get on the computer and update my blog! First of all, who knew I'd be having Eli an entire week early? That of course threw everything off for me! Now here we are 3 weeks later and finally getting adjusted to our new life as a family of 3 (well 4 if you count Jack who is super depressed about not getting all the attention like before). I have so much to write about that I don't know where to begin! Let's go back to Tuesday, Dec. 9th...

On Tues. the 9th I went for my weekly doctor's appt. I was 38 weeks and still almost two weeks from my due date. My doctor asked me if I was having any contractions yet and I told him no. Not that I knew what contractions even felt like but I didn't think I was having any. I told him I felt "weird". I didn't know any other word to describe how I was feeling. He just laughed and said my body was getting ready. I said ready for what? I'm two weeks away still! When I left the office he said see you next week unless your baby wants to come early. Wink wink. In my mind Eli's birthday wouldn't be until after Christmas. Boy, little did I know!

As I am driving home from the doctor's office I felt my first contraction. They tell you in class you'll know a contraction when it happens. Yep, it was obviously a contraction. It felt like someone was pressing my hips together and pushing as hard as they could. Again, who knew that's what it would feel like? I expected it to be across my belly not under and certainly not in my hips! I was so excited that I called my doula and told her so she would be prepared for me to have a baby soon. I should have known by her reaction that just because I had a contraction didn't mean Eli was coming anytime soon! In class we are taught that you are in true labor when your contractions are 4-1-1. Basically meaning they need to be 4 minutes apart lasting for a minute each consistently for one hour. My contractions that day were really inconsistent which was fine with me because I was entering denial zone anyway. I was not ready to have a baby yet. I was going to be late remember? I think I predicted Dec. 27 or 28.

Tuesday rolled into Wednesday which rolled into Thursday. I was having contractions all day every day but they had no rhyme or reason to them. Some were 20 minutes apart and only lasted 15 seconds and then others were 7 minutes apart lasting for 30 seconds. I was getting so accustom to the feeling that it was as if I always walked around having my hips squeezed together until they broke. No biggie. I went shopping. I went to the gym! I scrubbed the wood work and tile in our bathroom. I cooked and cleaned. By Friday morning I decided I shouldn't go to work anymore. I woke up that day feeling like maybe I should be home just in case. As a side note, Milan's vacation started on Dec. 13th so when he came home on Friday the 12th he was officially off of work. For a month prior to this he had been talking to my belly daily. He would ask Eli to come on Sun. Dec. 14th so that they could spend 3 weeks together before Milan had to go back to work. I kept telling Milan not to get his hopes up because I knew Eli was going to be late.

So Friday wore on and my contractions continued to be inconsistent. We went to the library so I could get some books to read for the following week as I waited for my due date. I'm pretty sure I looked funny leaning over the library counter breathing through my contractions. Looking back now they were a lot stronger than I was allowing myself to believe. Then we were off to Blockbuster to rent some movies to get us through the weekend. I figured I'd be antsy all weekend dealing with the contractions. As we walked through the video store I would stop every few minutes to breathe my way through the waves of pain. I'm sure I looked odd there as well. Finally we got home and I remember thinking I need to eat a good meal tonight just in case I have this baby. I know I will need as much energy as I can get if I am going to do this without medication. Too bad I couldn't eat my dinner that night because I had no appetite. Another sign I chose to ignore. Denial, denial, denial.

At 9pm Milan put on the movie The Dark Knight. I couldn't focus on it at all. I started timing my contractions and they were finally becoming consistent. Milan asked me several times if I thought this was "it" and I kept saying no. I paced the house and bounced on my exercise ball for hours thinking how am I going to do this for at least another week until my due date? I had heard stories of woman who were in false labor for up to 2 weeks before they gave birth. I knew that was going to be me! At midnight I snapped out of denial because my contractions were painful and getting closer together. I called my doula and told her tonight is the night. Now I didn't tell Milan this of course. I asked him to get some rest just in case. I let him sleep from 12-4am. During this 4 hour window I took a bath, two showers, emailed people, searched the internet, paced the house with the dog, and went through a million different scenarios in my head.

At 4am I called the doctor and let him know my contractions were 4-1-1. Hooray for me! I finally reached 4-1-1. I called my doula and we talked about what I should do next. This is where all my birth class education comes into play. Women who want to avoid meds usually labor at home as long as possible so when they get to the hospital they are close to transition (8-10 cm dilated). We live 35 minutes from the hospital which made me a little nervous. I went from denial to almost panic mode because I couldn't tell if I was ready to leave the house or not and I worried it might be too soon. I decided we should go just in case. I didn't want to have Eli in the car. Although we were prepared for that with our car delivery gear in the trunk just in case! Can't you just see Milan delivering Eli in the car! So, at 5am we calmly leave the house en route to the hospital. Those scenes in the movies are so dramatic! There's no running around or driving like a maniac. I was worried about dealing with the contractions in the car because I'd be strapped in by the seatbelt and unable to move freely. Luckily for me, I talked myself into relaxing and staying calm. I kept my eyes closed the entire time. Milan would update me from time to time as to which intersection we were passing through. Looking back now it was so surreal driving to the hospital to have the baby. You wait for that day for 9 months and once it arrives it is so hard to grasp.

Stay tuned for part 2- Eli's Birthday

Are there really only 2 weeks left?

How in the world can it be Week 38 already? I was feeling quite round in this sweater yesterday so Milan decided he should log this little memory with a picture. Posing for pictures is not on my top 10 list of fun things to do anymore. To be honest, neither is putting on socks and shoes and wearing jeans is so uncomfortable! I know I am not enormous but seriously my feet are so far away! I can't even remember the last time I put lotion on them; they feel like sandpaper.

I am now going to the doctor weekly. Last Tuesday he told me the baby is still very high and he doubts I'll go early but anything can happen from day to day. His advice was to walk, walk, walk. Let me just tell ya' that all I have been doing for the past 9 months is walking!! I don't feel like walking anymore. I don't feel like cleaning the house. I don't feel like cooking. I don't feel like working. I don't feel like eating. The only thing I feel like doing is sitting on the couch. Yet when I sit on the couch I am antsy and don't want to be there. UGH!

As for the due date predictions: I am not at all happy with Dec. 28th Rosa so please start thinking earlier thoughts! As for Karen and Pam's predictions I am a little afraid because that would mean Eli would be born this week! Milan has a lot going on at work this week so can you please start thinking thoughts for next week? And Uncle John, what were you thinking telling me you think he'll weigh 9 lbs!! Everyone else is coming in at 7 lbs or so- I believe that is manageable but 9 lbs- are you nuts! :) I don't know what I think anymore but I am getting anxious as I know with each passing day I am going to wake up and it's going to be Eli's birthday.

When Will Eli Arrive?

I have been collecting due date guesses and it has been a lot of fun seeing what people are predicting. It is so weird knowing that it can happen any day now. I am 37 weeks which is considered full term! We went for a tour of the hospital the other night and that really made it all seem real! Here are the guesses so far

Me: Dec. 27th 6 lbs. 9 oz. 21 in. long
Milan: Dec. 14th 7 lbs. 9 oz. 23 in. long
My Mom: Dec. 20th
My Dad: Dec. 22nd 7 lbs. 9 oz. 21 in. long
Dave: Dec. 22nd
Karen: Dec. 10th
Christy: Dec. 20th 8 lbs. 1 oz. 22 in. long
Rosa: Dec. 28th 7 lbs. 20 in. long
Uncle Mike: Dec. 24th 7 lbs. 7 oz. 22 in. long
Kim: Dec. 25th
Pam: Dec. 11th 7 lbs. 6 oz. 19 in. long
Courtney: Dec. 22nd 7 lbs. 6 oz. 21 in. long
Cassie: Dec. 27th 7 lbs. 7 oz. 20 in. long at 7:07 am
Kristin W: Dec. 23rd 7 lbs. 2 oz. 20 in. long
Ned: Dec. 23rd
Luke: Dec. 17th 7 lbs.
Adam: Dec. 22nd
Teti: Dec. 18th 7 lbs. 12 oz.
Uncle John: Dec. 23rd 9 lbs. 10 oz.
Kuma Nicole: Dec. 27th 6 lbs. 15 oz. 21 in long
Tiva: Dec. 20th 7 lbs. 4 oz. 18 in. long
Kristin M: Dec. 22nd 7 lbs. 6 oz. 21.5 in. long
Cooper: Dec. 19th 7 lbs. 6 oz. 21.5 long