Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Eli

I have to start by sharing the classic 1st birthday cake picture.  Needless to say Eli had no interest in the cake.  It was all about the cream cheese frosting that basically melted the minute his warm little hands touched it. 

I can hardly believe that a year has passed. I often feel this way when the holidays roll around but this year I have so much to look back on in 2009.  As challenging as things were at times I can say with 100% certainty that this has been the best year of my entire life.  Look at that sweet little boy.  How couldn’t this have been the greatest thing to ever happen to me? 

As this monumental day approached I would have bet a million dollars I’d be crying on and off all day.  Heck tears spring up in my eyes on normal days when I allow myself to think about Eli’s birth day and the first few days following it.  I really surprised myself today when I felt nothing but sheer joy.  Joy in the fact that I survived one year of motherhood and better yet Eli survived one whole year of having me as his Mama!!  I do have to admit there were a couple times today that I did get teary eyed.  1.  When Alicia my doula called and left me a sweet message remembering being at Eli’s birth with me. 2. When it was 4:06pm and Milan and I discussed what was happening one year ago exactly.  3.  When we sang Happy Birthday to Eli.  I just couldn’t believe I was singing Happy Birthday to that teeny tiny little bundle of joy who is now 1 years old. 

Of all the things I have learned this year there is one thing in particular that really took me by surprise.  I had no idea how much Eli was going to teach me about myself.  I knew the role I was going to play in his life but I never would have dreamed all the things he was going to teach me.  I never in a million years would have guessed I could be courageous enough to endure birth med free.  I never would have imagined I could survive on chunks of sleep (I used to love my 10 hour nights of sleep and afternoon naps!).  I never realized that you have a parenting style instinctually in you that comes out and develops as the result of the type of baby you have.  You can read all the books you want but ultimately the baby is unique and you better adjust!  I had no idea how important it is to trust your instincts and trust your body.  Eli’s reflux and the nursing issues that came along with it taught me that I need to trust myself and what I was feeling.  I learned that I would go to all ends of the earth to protect this little boy.  I always heard about women and their “mama bear instincts” but I had no idea how true that was until I became a Mama.  I feel sorry for anyone who tries to come into this house while Milan is out of town.  I have imagined the things I would do to someone if they tried to hurt my baby!  :) This list could go on and on.  I really can’t imagine all the things I have yet to learn as each year of Eli’s life passes and he grows up. 

Being a Mother to Eli and a wife to Milan is the best thing that I could have ever imagined for my life.  I thank God everyday for my blessed life and our healthy happy little family.