Watermelon, Shirt Strings, and Diaper Bags

How come no one told me that watermelon causes heartburn? Watermelon of all things! I ate, yes you can believe it, a entire cheeseburger and fries for lunch yesterday and didn't suffer from it at all! Tonight for my healthy snack I eat watermelon and now I am suffering from heartburn- go figure! Eating Tums is just about as gross to me as taking vitamins so I may choose to suffer through this tonight!

Does anyone know who invented the maternity shirt? Why on earth do they all have to be cut from a tent pattern and then made to look form fitting by attaching that ridiculous string to the back? If that doesn't scream "I'm pregnant" I don't know what does! Yes I know I am pregnant so it shouldn't matter that the string screams that out but the shirts are so darn ugly! My mother would say I am acting vain by complaing like this but there has to be someone else out there who agrees with me! I am not trying to be vain about this. I guess I could shop at Mimi Maternity and pay $50 for a shirt without a string but honestly why can they make nice stringless shirts and the less expensive stores can't?

Ok, why is it so difficult for me to choose a diaper bag? I know my mother wants to reach through the phone and choke me sometimes! I have been looking for a diaper bag for months already! I hate carrying a purse so you can imagine the stress I am having over having to carry a bigger bag that requires so many items to be in it! I don't consider myself the trendy type so all of those super expensive bags that are really cute seem ridiculous to me. However, I don't like the bags that look like diaper bags from 1988 either. No Winnie the Pooh for me. I look at a bag online and then I find a store who carries it so I can check it out in person. I am so worried about making a bad choice! Who the heck cares? It's a dumb diaper bag! So I run down my list of questions... 1. Does it fall off my shoulder easily? 2. Does it have enough pockets? 3. Is it stylish and is the fabric nice? 4. Will Milan be caught carrying it? 5. Will it stay closed once it is stuffed with baby things? 6. Are those side pockets even big enough to carry the bottle that is suppose to fit in it?
By the way, what do people even realistically carry in these bags anyway? Do Moms upgrade to even bigger bags when they have two kids?

This is why God made pregnancy last 9 months. We need time to find shirts without strings and diaper bags that suit us perfectly.